Baby Steps
by scarlet's.guarded.heart
Summary: What do you think happened one and a half years later? Post-series finale.


**Thanks for all those who read my other Chuck stories, who reviewed and add it to their favorite list! I really appreciate it! **

**This is my version of a post-series finale. I've written this originally in Chuck's POV but it was hard to imagine what he was going through. And every time I watch any episodes of Chuck, I keep remembering how the ending was. It was unexpected, yes… but uhm… no, I'll keep my words to myself... :'(**

**I do not own Chuck or any of its characters.**

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**Sarah's POV**

Paris is beautiful, especially during the night. Night lights remind me of the quiet time I used to have when I was a kid, back when I was still innocent. I looked at the streets from my small balcony, there's not much to look at except for the people: women, men, couples and families trying to have some fun. Despite what I'm feeling, I smiled. In one way or another, I've saved these people and I'm happy that at least they get a normal life, one without dangerous mombsters, bombs, guns and bullets.

Tomorrow will mark the day I left Burbank. One year and a half, time flies indeed fast. And yet I still can't remember anything. Even though I was divorced to him already for more than a year, with an understanding that I will remember more if I leave, my memories won't come back. And yes, despite myself, I can't stop thinking about him. I lost myself looking at the crowd when I saw someone looking at me from my balcony. With a newspaper on his left hand and glasses on the other, I can recognize him immediately even from afar. He waved his left hand with the paper and I responded by waving my right hand. He immediately went to direction of the building I'm standing. I fidgeted at how I look when I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. _Good_, I thought.

When I was at the lobby of my hotel, he stood up and gave me a hug.

"Hi Dad."

"Hello darlin'." he pulled away and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well, I'm taking a vacation from my job." he said with a wink. Knowing my father, he might've conned someone rich again. "What about you? Where's the schnook? You're still not on the honeymoon right? Because the wedding was supposed to be almost three years ago, and honeymoons don't last this long."

I laughed, despite knowing I have a lot of explaining to do, I wondered if he meant Chuck when he said _schnook_.

"Dad, can we talk at my room? But we can buy something if you haven't eaten dinner yet."

"Sure, but I'd like you to eat too. Haven't seen you since you're engaged and got conned by your wedding planner."

_Me? Conned?_

"Uh... Okay."

I accompanied him to a bakery he was going and got myself some brewed coffee. After that, he brought the bread we bought in my room and shared a big blueberry Danish.

"Okay, spill. Where's the schnook?"

"Are you referring to Chuck?" he nodded then I said, "In Burbank." I said nonchalantly

"What? Why are you here? Are you in one of those CIA missions of yours?"

My Dad knows I _work_ for the CIA?

"Dad... before anything else, you know I'm CIA? _How_?"

"Well, I kind of stole your wallet..." then seeing the face I was making, he asked, "Wait you don't remember?"

"You stole my wallet? Why?"

"I wanted to see if you're really a cop. But it turns out, you're job is bigger than that." he said as he ate the last piece of the pastry. "But enough of that, why are you really here? Did that schnook left you?"

"No, Dad... Actually..." I looked at him and saw his eyebrow rise. "The truth is... I left him."

"What? Why? Darlin' I know that schnook doesn't have a lot of money, and you told me that wasn't the reason why you're staying with him, but why the heck did you left him?"

"Dad... I.."

I told him almost everything that I remember, except the still top secret stuff. I told him that I didn't work for the CIA anymore and that Chuck and I started a security firm of our own together with Casey ('Cop Face' as he calls him) and Morgan. And then one day there was this bad, psycho man who made me forget what happened to me for the last five years and made me kill Chuck.

When I finished the last piece of my pastry, I quickly added, "Which I didn't... Clearly..."

"Then why'd you left him?"

"Well, I asked for it. We're kind of divorced right now."

"What?"

"Dad, I needed some space... I almost killed Chuck, _my husband_. I point a gun at him and when I was to get shot, well... He took a bullet for me. And its hard being with him after that because I... I hurt him..." tears were running down my face as I said those words. That's exactly why I sent those divorce papers, because I don't want to hurt him any longer. He deserves someone better, someone who will remember _everything_. I felt him cradling me like when I was a little girl.

"After that I left for two weeks, searching for the man who took away everything from me..." I told him the rest of the story. How Chuck helped me to locate Quinn in Germany and how we stopped a bomb (not the exact details but he gets the idea), the beach, how he told our story, Morgan's theory about our magical kiss, and how I ended up in Paris.

"So here I am, telling you everything I remember..." I said as I wipe away my tears. I can feel him stroking my hair.

"Oh darlin'... I'm so sorry to hear all of this." he pulled away and said "But you know what? I bet Charlie is hurting more."

"How would you know? You've only known him for a short time."

He smiled and stood up. He went to get the tissue box and gave it to me.

"Would you mind if I tell you a story?" he asked as he kneeled in front of me.

He told me everything. From the moment he met Chuck at the restaurant when I said 'I had a day off' to the ten million bet he made and to the time I found him in Miami selling a parking lot to Japanese businessmen to ask him if he knows anyone that goes by 'Daphne Peralta' and the mission that went after that in the Grand Ambassador Hotel Ball and the talk we had while dancing.

"And you know, as I was already packed and ready to hit the road again when he asked me if I could at least stay for dinner. I stayed... only after he left to buy some groceries for dinner. And I left you something before I went off grid again."

I looked at him curiously, urging him to tell me what it was but he said, "You have to find it yourself, darlin'."

"I liked your story." I said with a smile.

"Me too..." he took my hands and said, "But uhm… darlin'… Before you met him, I was the most important man in your life."

I gave him a playful smile as he looked at me, "I know this because I know how devastated you were when I got arrested. And because I taught you... that you should never let your guard down." he sighed, perhaps this is also hard for him to admit.

"Before you met him, I can easily make you smile or laugh or just relax. Just like when you were little." he smiled and continued, "But after you met him, especially my second visit, the mere presence of him makes you glow... So happy that I've never seen you before." he stopped and touched my cheek with his right hand.

"He can make you laugh just by wriggling his eyebrows, which is weird because I really don't know what that means." he laughed and I laughed too at his comment. "He can make you smile just by holding your hands," he left my cheek and took my hands again, "And I know that he can make you happy and take care of you because he was far a better man than I am."

"Oh, Daddy." I embraced him. Somehow, I felt that I heard those words before.

"Darlin' go back to him." he pulled away, looked at me and said, "Because somehow, I know that all you needed was him. Just like when you're the only one I need when you're little."

"But Dad, I don't know if needs me anymore. What if he'd move on?"

"Darlin' remember how I've described you when you are with him? The same goes for him. I don't know what kind of love potion you two drank for you to get this love sick." he smiled and I laughed this time at his comment.

"Help me, will you? I'm getting old for kneeling this long."

We both stood up as I helped him. And after grabbing his newspaper, glasses and the bread we bought, I walked him downstairs. He asked for a paper and pen from the person on the concierge and wrote down something.

"For you, pumpkin'." he gave me the note and I noticed it was a cell phone number, "Only for you." he kissed my cheek and bid me a good night with our usual goodbyes.

I didn't come back to Burbank immediately, because I was still unsure if Chuck will accept me after everything I put him through. But then something reminded me of him, well not specifically, but it reminded me of LA. I saw an advertisement of a convention happening a month from now in LA and I was wondering if he would go there since I remember seeing one of those mugs with a print of this advertisement in his room.

Then I decided I should see for myself. At that time, I was in Japan and oddly enough I feel mixed feelings when I first set foot in this country. I wonder why.

I called my Dad after my plane landed in Bob Hope airport.

"Hi, Dad. Where are you?"

"Hello to you too. I'm in Vienna. You?"

"In the States," I heard no answer so I continued, "specifically in LA."

"Are you going to see him?"

"I don't know Dad."

"Darlin' do you love him?"

"We both know the answer to that Dad."

"Yes, I know. You're not sure because you don't remember anything from your life together, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why are you there?"

"I saw this ad on TV about this convention... and I wondered if he would go there."

"So you're planning to see him in this convention?"

"No... Uhm... The convention wouldn't happen in a month, so..."

"Darlin', it sounds like you're making excuses just to see him." I can feel his smile through our phone conversation.

"Is that what it looks like?" I asked feeling self conscious

"I think you should go see him. It's the only way to know if he'd move on and to know if you love him or at least care for him."

Despite hearing only this, I can clearly hear what his hidden message is.

_Care for him enough for you to stay._

And now here I am, staring at the ceiling of his room. I left the door open so that I'll know he's here, just in the couch. I looked at the clock of my phone and saw it was 1:58am and I'm still wide awake. Today marks the two years the kiss in the beach. I stared outside, past the door, seeing only the shadow of the couch. He turned the other room into his office, so he was stuck at the couch. He insisted that I should take his bed and appreciating his chivalry, I accepted.

I wonder if he's asleep.

I removed the sheets from my body and stood up quietly. But my plan to approach him stealthily failed as I heard the wooden floor squeak. So I build up all my courage when I was at the living room and asked softly, "Chuck? Are you awake?"

There was no movement so I decided it was better if I shouldn't wake him. I was already halfway to his room when I heard him say, "Yes?"

I turned around and said, "I'm sorry, Chuck. Did I wake you?"

"No, no, no..." he sat up and said, "What's wrong? Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah, you could say that." I approached him because I was sure he was awake now.

"Bad dream?" he asked softly, hearing concern in his voice tugs something in my heart.

"No, uhm... I just couldn't sleep." I said feeling embarrassed that an adult like me couldn't sleep

"Do you want me to tell you a story?"

"Is it about us?"

"No.. Uhm.. This is about me and what Ellie used to do when I couldn't sleep." he said and offered me the other end of the couch when it was free from his long legs.

"My Mom left us when I was nine and even though my Dad was with us, it's like he wasn't even there. Eventually, he left us too so it was just me and Ellie." he paused and I can see him put his hands together.

"I was thirteen when I started having nightmares, Ellie was fifteen at that time and she told me I was screaming and thought someone was hurting me. A burglar or something." he looked at me with a smile and continued, "She saw me sweating and panting and screaming all at the same time and knew I was having a bad dream. So she woke me up, and cradled me while whispering, _'It's okay Chuck. I'm here, I'm here...'_ after that, nights go by that I didn't even have an ounce of sleep because I was afraid I'll dream the same dream again."

"So... What did she do?" I asked curiously

"It's silly, Sarah." he looked away and I can see his playful smile even though it's dark

"Hey, you're not helping me sleep. Making me think about what she did... that'll make more awake." I said, with a teasing tone

"Okay, Okay... You've made you point." he said and looked at me again. "She told me stories, kind of like bed time stories but, it was her happy memories of my family, back when I was so little that I couldn't remember and when both of my parents are still there." I looked at him curiously, wondering what it does have to do with me.

"My point is, after every story, I could sleep again. Maybe you think I was so childlike that a bed time story would help me sleep but... She was always saying _'Aces Charles, you're Aces.'_ then she would kiss my forehead and I had this grumpy look in my face that tells her _'I'm a teenager now, Ellie. I don't need kisses.'_ but during the first night she told me a story, I heard her say _'Baby steps, Chuck. Baby steps.'_ before she left and closed the door. After that, I managed to have some sleep. And our thing about 'Baby steps' started there. "

I process this as I say, "So your point is, you wanna know what makes me sleep when I was having a hard time to sleep?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

I smiled and said, "You could've at least asked instead of telling me a story, you know?"

"Where's the fun in that?" even though it's dark, I can feel his sad smile

I stood up, knowing what I have to do in order to sleep and said to him, "Chuck, your bed is so big for one person to sleep on." I offered my hand to his and asked, "Would it be all right for you to join me?"

He didn't say a word as he took my hand and followed me to his bedroom. I went to my side of the bed as I remembered it, removed the sheets and lied down. He was already facing his side and I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt despite the coldness of the night.

"Hey, Chuck?"

"Hm?" he turned to my direction and noticed I was facing him

"Do you know what I do when I can't sleep?"

"No. Can you tell me?" I can see him studying my face

But instead of telling him, I reached for his arms and wrapped it around my waist. I hold his right hand as I turned to face him away and softly said, "Baby steps, right?"

I can feel him smiling behind me. "Yeah, baby steps."

"Good night, Chuck."

Even though I didn't hear him say a word, I swear, I can hear him in my mind saying:

_Good night, Sarah. Love you too, baby._

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**Yeah, I'm kind of pessimistic so that's why my version turn out this way. Forgive me.**

**I was supposed to upload this in September but I really want to know what you think of my post-series story. **

**Reviews, comments, violent reactions are well appreciated. I'm sorry if there are wrong grammars. Ciao!**


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